Thursday, February 22. 2007
The Definition of 'Balls'
First, an explanation: Early in 2006, my son and I decided to start following the English Premier League. We each chose a team - he chose Arsenal because they had won a few times and because he really liked Thierry Henry. I chose Liverpool because Liverpool reminds me of Cleveland, and Craig Bellamy had just moved from Newcastle to Liverpool, supposedly because he had always wanted to play for the team he loved as a boy in Wales. Reminded me of how Clevelanders feel about the Browns.So I've been following Liverpool fairly closely. Liverpool is involved in the Champions League tournament, which is the European Championship for club (as opposed to national) teams that earned their way in based upon the results from 2005-2006. Football (soccer) tournament games are usually determined by random draw, rather than seeding like American sports playoffs are.
So Liverpool gets the (it seemed) unfortunate draw of the defending champions Barcelona in the round of 16. Last week, the team went to Portugal to prepare for yesterday's match, the first of a home-and-away series (called a 'two-legged tie' in football parlance).
While there the team got very drunk at a karaoke bar. Bellamy, who has a history of getting drunk and getting in trouble, decides that his teammate Riise, a much more reserved Norwegian, should come up and sing. Riise thinks not. They get into a fight, and Bellamy eventually grabs a 9-iron and hits Riise's legs with it. Not a good idea.
Bellamy is fined $155,000 by the team and the soccer pundits assume that his career at Liverpool is over. Riise is fine, apparently he didn't hit him as hard as was first reported. Surprisingly, both Riise and Bellamy start the game.
So what happens?
Bellamy scores. As all Footballers do, he begins a completely over-the-top celebration. And he begins it by....
Pantomiming a golf swing. A complete stick-in-the-eye of the entire Footballing world.
More irony - Liverpool's winning goal is scored by Bellamy taking a rebound and feeding Riise at the top of the box, who puts the shot in.
When they're bad, they're very, very good
